Free Verse!: November 2008

So since I haven't posted anything in awhile, I decided I would rant to ya'll about a certain event at the school with one of my kids.

Bryan. He is not the ideal kid for a teacher. He swears, makes vulgar body movements, and mentally and physically abuses the other kids around him. Does he do it by accident? No. He goes out of his way to torment someone...he does not care about authority, and has been to the principals office many times.

So what happened? Well, he is in my after school program and we had one particularly bad day, and from then on he has always complained about it. This has lead him to say he will try to be terrible so he can get kicked out of the program... Well, Thursday was a particularly hard day, considering we have another kid in my group who is exactly like him, but female and goes through with her threats more so than Bryan.

It all resulted in my not knowing what to do. He is terrible. Samantha, the other girl is terrible, but at the same time I feel close to them and almost feel that for a child to act that way they have to have lost some sort of hope. These are the kids who get in trouble all the time to the point where they identify as "a bad kid" and when I correct them on it I get yelled at because I won't let them be "bad." Maybe I am thinking way into it, but I personally see that as something that has developed from years of people telling them that. The thing that makes kids evil is that they are bad, but they don't know it. These kids clearly know they are bad and do nothing to change it...and that just bothers me.

So there was talk in my team, all 10 of us, to kick him out. And I was pissed. We had a team meeting on Friday after work and one kid was talking about it, and I blew up... but in a reasonable way. I did not swear or anything. I was very articulate, and I clearly said without saying that if you kick these kids out I will hurt you, and you will regret it you fucking asshole. Again, the words were not said, but they were implied. Yes, I am getting a bit over protective of my kids... just a bit. ,I defend them at every corner or block they have. I don't know why. Bryan is a little shit most of the time, I'll be the first to admit that, but I care about him, and want the best for him. Samantha as well. She isn't even in my class, just my after school program, but I care about her. Yes, she is making kids cry, hurting them...at times, and I know it is wrong, but I can't sacrifice a few for the greater good. I feel like I can't on a moral level... Maybe it is a flaw in my system, but I can't give up on a kid. I feel like I would be reinforcing the idea they have always had... I don't know.